There have been some heavy moments in my life this last year. Through stress of a business owner, struggles as a parent, hard times as a wife, a leader in ministry, sister, daughter... it was a hard year sometimes. What was God teaching me? Strength(Psalm 68:35), wisdom(Proverbs 2:6), perseverance(James 1:3-4), to love others(John 13:34), to turn the other cheek(Matthew 5:38-40)- yes! For all. But through all the crazy and fun times, my heart and focus was to LEARN how to be a good mother for my son. Physically, I feel pretty confident. Being the oldest of 4, I've babysat as far back as I can remember. I can change a diaper, I can burp a baby, I can rock him to sleep, I can comfort him when he's sad, I can prepare meals, etc, etc. But am I ready to raise a family that is emotionally, spiritually, strong? I can't be ready... EVER REALLY READY, without God preparing me.
Every parent wants the same thing for their children, wisdom (to get into the top schools), courage (to pursue their dreams), honesty (to have long lasting relationships), love (to be happy in life), and to know God as their savior!
They only learn these values through watching us. It's so hard to remember that when you're in a hurry driving down the 10 and you get cut off by the city bus and all you want to do is scream! The reaction is watched by those little eyes! Humbleness takes over. It's amazing how a 12 month old can literally change everything about you! But as I see it, only for the better. Yeah he's changed me physically ( I was so fat when I was prego, then he sucked the life outta me and I was intensely skinny, no outfit really mattered- yes I did wear the same shirt two, maybe three days straight! Makeup? Ugh, not like the good old days!) but spiritually, emotionally, this little person has changed my heart! Our children truly make us want to be a better person. Even basketball player, Dwayne Wade says it in his tweet after being suspended for a foul in a game, "...I think of my boys before retaliating..." (http://probasketballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/12/28/dwyane-wade-responds-to-suspension-says-hes-far-from-being-a-dirty-player/). And that's true for me as well. When I'm placed in that situation when I feel I have a choice to react, I remember, "Is that something I would want my son to see or hear?" My heart breaks. If I truly want to be the mother our children deserve, I need to work at it. And only God can help me, and mold me to be that righteous woman that my family needs. Proverbs 31:10-31 describes a portrait of a Godly woman. My heart yearns to be that woman, and I TRULY believe, only HE can give me that desire!
"Our Father in Heaven, how great is your name! I praise you for these things you have blessed us with here on earth. You have built me up this last year through trials, and now with your grace and mercies, I see You have prepared me for a new year with a wisdom You have given me! THANK YOU GOD for this revelation! May we never stop praising and growing in You! WE LOVE YOU LORD! Amen"